Let them know
by rossinellis
Summary: Lithuania thinks he's protecting Estonia and Latvia by telling them that he's fine mentally. Estonia is afraid Lithuania doesn't trust him and Latvia enough to admit he's suffering. The thoughts of each of these nations are narrated within. SOVIET UNION ERA.
1. Estonia's thoughts

**The thoughts of Estonia, wanting Lithuania to open up about the pain and abuse he is going through during the Soviet Union era. Considering writing a second part.**

* * *

You think you're fooling us into thinking that you're fine. You think that we don't know what happens to you. All these years we've been here, and you still think we are unaware.

It's no secret that you're hurt - both me and Raivis know, and it's blatant enough that even the others could notice there's something wrong. You share with us your injuries that physically present themselves so that we can feel useful and fix you, but you always say you're fine and that this isn't affecting you mentally.

In human years, we may be still children, but you forget we have lived for centuries and known you for just as long. I've known you since you were tiny, and yet you still assume you can hide how he's gotten into your head.

While on occasion you stay very quiet, I can tell you are hurting when you start talk _a lot_. Raivis honestly hasn't noticed this, but you start talking about anything on your mind that's not about our current situation, and you often change the topic. I think that by doing this, you are trying to distract yourself from the truth of how hurt you are by all this violence. I know, because I do it too.

You don't realise that hiding your pain only causes us more pain. We _know_ you're suffering and that you are afraid of telling us. We can't help but feel that maybe you don't trust us. I know it's hard to talk about how you really feel, but we won't hurt you anymore. Me and Raivis only want to help. Maybe you need to vent, maybe you just need a hug, but we won't know unless you open up.

Toris, you have no idea how important to us you really are. We already feel guilty enough for letting you take all this abuse. If you weren't here, we would be hurting too.

One day when this is all over you'll have all of this pain, dragging you down. While this hell lasts, please let us in. I just wish that you would trust us, that you would trust me.


	2. Lithuania's thoughts

**This time, Lithuania's thoughts during the Soviet Union era.**

* * *

I can tell you are concerned about me. I know you wait up each night to bring me back to safety, to drag me away from danger. And I know that you want me to talk about all this.

Maybe one day I'll feel like I can but today is not that day, neither is tomorrow. It's easy for you to say that I'll feel better once I spill all my regrets and problems, but whenever I even consider admitting to you that I am suffering the words are held back. I don't _want_ to burden you with this - you don't deserve this.

I wish I could tell you that I'm not fine, and that I need your support. Instead, I push you away. I don't know why you still stand by my side, I don't deserve anything. I caused all this. If I was stronger, I wouldn't be this broken. I'm supposed to look after you and Raivis but I can't even look after myself.

I'm scared. Really scared. I hate having to put on a brave face. I know you're scared too, and that you're trying to be brave so that I don't completely lose it.

I made him promise not to hurt you. He's a man of his word, I trust him to leave you two alone. That's all I trust him for. He's twisted by this crazy empire. He isn't a bad man, but all this chaos is driving him insane. That's why I'm hurt. He can't handle all these strong emotions that are happening right now, so he strikes out. What really hurts is how I used to admire him and his power, now he's completely losing it. You should hear him sometimes, I think he really needs a break. Until this all falls apart, I _am_ the break. I'm his stress relief.

As much as I hate this, I can't let him stop. I have to think about the bigger picture of all the people he'll crush if I push him away. Ivan is as fragile as I am right now. That's why he chose me. He sees himself in me. I just hope that part of him he sees in me is so small that I would never do this to anyone close to me.

I promise that I will protect you, just as I made him promise not to touch you. If it drives me insane or kills me a hundred times, you will not be harmed.

Eduard, you will be safe. You and Raivis won't ever have to know what pain is, I'll make sure of that.


End file.
